For many people it is hard to believe
that God can hate anything, but He can and does. The holy scriptures make it
very clear that He hates divorce and why He does. Malachi 2:14-16 is a good
example. Divorce is a hot topic in our society, and sadly, in the church. A
Christian was telling me recently about an acquaintance who when going through a
divorce received very poor counsel by a religious man. The essence of the
Preacher's (loosely used) advice was that it [divorce] would be a decision he
would have to live with for the rest of his life. He gave the man no counsel
from God's word. Why was he not told that God hates sin and He hates divorce and
divorce is sin?
The effects of living through divorce
and living in a single-parent homes are taking it's toll on our society. When our previous
Vice President challenged Hollywood's portrayal and acceptance of an unwed mother in the
figure Murhpy Brown he was ridiculed. Yet the research figures confirm his criticism. For
children of broken homes or unwed mothers it doesn't look good. In a 1993 article, titled
"Dan Quayle Was Right", Barbara Dafoe Whitehead reports on a vast body of
research and offers startling figures. The effects upon these children are varied; from
psychological to economic (pg. 47) Children raised by one parent experience trauma that
children of a two-parent family do not. Children of broken homes wonder if they are
somehow to blame for the troubles and they question if they are loved. They are much more
likely to live in poverty than are children of two-parent families (pg. 60-61). Studies
show that these children are more likely to suffer severe depression, do poorly in school,
drop out, do drugs, and have criminal records (pg. 47). One study is cited which suggest
that many of our more serious societal problems-poverty, crime, failing education-have
family disruptions at the root (pg. 77). The experience and trauma on these children
leaves scars that remain long into adulthood. According to the research, the lasting
effects include inability to make commitments, share intimacy, or hold down a job (pg.
55). Nicholas Zill, a researcher, found that "effects of marital discord and family
disruption are visible twelve to twenty years later in poor relationships with parents,
high levels of problem behavior and increased likelihood of dropping out of high school
and receiving psychological help (pg. 66).
Nothing can take the place of the
God-designed two parent, unbroken, family. The intact family offers "greater security
and better outcomes than its fast-growing alternatives: single parent and stepparent
families" (pg. 80). Even without the research we Christians have understood the value
of the intact, unified, and loving family. The Lord has given us His will and that is good
enough for us.
...He no longer regards the offering or
accepts it with favor from your hand. "Yet you say, ' For what reason?' Because the
Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have
dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant."
(Malachi 2:13b,14)