Football Christianity
(Adapted from an article by Doug Morris)
Quarterback Sneak: Church members quietly exiting the auditorium before the end of the service.
Draft Choice: Selection of the seats closest to the doors.
Half-Time: The time between Bible Class and the Worship Service.
Bench Warmers: Those whose only participation is their attendance on Sunday mornings.
Fumble: Dropping a book, singing the wrong verse, or standing while others are still seated.
Backfield In Motion: Making two or three trips out during a thirty-minute sermon.
Stay In The Pocket: What happens to a lot of money that should go into the collection plate.
Two Minute Warning: When the Preacher begins to give the invitation, giving everyone time to gather coats, etc.
Sudden Death: The Preacher speaking longer than usual.
Flex Defense: The ability to not allow the sermon to change your life in any way.
Blitz: The stampede for the doors after the final "Amen."
End Run: Getting out of the building without speaking to the Preacher, an Elder or a Deacon.
Half-Back Option: The decision of 50% of the congregation to not return for Sunday evening services.
Permission granted to use this article in any manner, as long as: 1) The content is not changed and 2) the name of the author is left on the article.
Free Bible Correspondence Course
Thanks For Visiting
Our Email Address is
©1998, 1999 Birdville church of Christ