One of the most wonderful things God does
is join two people in marriage. But not everyone's marriage is so wonderful!
There are problems in marriage! Sometimes devastating, seemingly unbearable
problems! If we do not deal with our problems, they will destroy our marriage.
SELFISHNESS
Jesus helps us with the problem of
selfishness (Luke 9:23). Me, myself,and I - that's the problem!
In marriage we must ask not what can my
mate do for me, but what can I do for my mate (Compare 1 Corinthians 10:24; 13:5, 7:3-5;
Philippians 2:4; Matthew 7:12). Spend about 10 minutes to list how you might be
selfishness.
The husband or wife who will humble
himself or herself to display such acts of service as did Christ (John 13:3-17), will have
a profound effect on their mate and will go a long way in solving the problems in
marriage.
COMMUNICATION
The first thing involved in good
communication is listening (Compare James 1:19, John 8:43, Proverbs 18:13). Do you really
stop to listen in order to understand how your mate feels?
We must also speak in a constructive way
(Ephesians 4:29). As we build up our spouse we build up our marriage, and as we tear down
our spouse we tear down our marriage. Avoid bitterness and anger (Ephesians 15:1), teasing
and sarcasm (Proverbs 26:19), nagging, whining and quarreling (Proverbs 19:13) and lying
(Proverbs 6:17).
Good communication is well summed up in
Ephesians 4:15, "Speaking" - Not silent treatment; "Truth - Open and
honest; "In love" - Attitude greatly effects our communication.
FORGIVENESS
We are able to forgive because God has
forgiven us (Compare Ephesians 5:32; Colossians 3:13). God teaches us to forgive no matter
how many times we offended (Matthew 18:21ff) or how bad the offense may be (I john 1:7,9),
and when God forgives, God forgets (Hebrews 8:12).
Go home and practice James 5:16. God can
heal any breaks in your marriage.
Problems in marriage don't have to be
viewed negatively. They can be seen as stepping stones to greater maturity and
spirituality (Compare James 1:2-4) and ultimately to a better relationship with the one
you love the most upon this earth.
Robert Dodson
©1999 Robert Dodson. Permission granted to use
this article in any manner, as long as:
1) The content is not changed and 2) the name of the author is left on the article.