Have Me Excused!

Dear Preacher,

    You often stress attendance at worship as important. But I think a fellow has a right to miss now and then. I think I should be excused for the following reasons:

Christmas - (It comes only once a year) 1
New Year - (I need to start off rested) 1
July 4th - (National Holiday) 1
Labor Day - (The Bible commands one day of rest) 1
Memorial Day - (1 state holiday) 1
School closing - (Kids need a break at the beach) 1
School beginning - (Last chance of summer) 1
Family Reunions - (1 for my family, 1 for my wife's) 2
Out of town games - (We support the team) 5
Tournaments - (High school, college, tennis and golf - one each) 4
Anniversary - (Our second honeymoon) 1
Sickness - (1 for each family member) 5
Business trips - (A fella must make a living) 3
Vacation - (Only 2 weeks, 3 weekends) 3
Bad weather - (Ice, rain, snow, hail, etc.) 5
Dallas Cowboy games 4
Unexpected Company - (Can't walk out, they didn't bring church clothes) 2
Alarm clock didn't go off - (not my fault) 2
Time change - (Spring forward, fall back, I never get that right) 2
House and car repair - (Who can afford plumbers and mechanics anymore) 3
Special on TV - (Continuing Education)     1
Total 50

    So preacher, that only leaves two Sundays per year. We'll see you Easter for sure and the third Sunday in August unless providentially hindered.

"Faithful Member"

Author Unknown

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